Actions, Not Resolutions

As we enter 2023, many of us begin the New Year as we often do, either by writing down a list of "resolutions" or, if we are a bit more courageous, by sharing our resolutions with a friend or two. What are these resolutions usually based on, and how do we usually decide what changes we should make in the New Year?

Unfortunately, our resolutions are often based on regret — regret over what we failed to accomplish during the previous year, regret over goals we failed to reach, promises we failed to keep to ourselves and to others. Some of us find ourselves listing the same resolutions every Jan. 1, hoping it might actually be THE year we keep them.

For those of us who are married, we might discover that many of our resolutions are aimed at our spouse instead of ourselves: "You will stop being a slob; you will find ways to improve yourself and straighten your life out." It's funny because it's true!

As Shakespeare eloquently wrote in his play Julius Caesar, "The fault lies not in the stars, but in ourselves." In other words, if we want to know why we sometimes fail to meet our goals, we should look at our choices rather than blaming some fate or external force.

Here's an idea: Perhaps we should begin this New Year of 2023 not with grand, sweeping resolutions of long-term goals, but instead, simply focus on daily, practical actions we can take to improve our lives and the lives of those around us. Let's try thinking of this new year in terms of daily actions which become part of our new routine, our "new normal."

Here are a few examples... Instead of a vague goal of "being nicer and kinder this year," why not commit to smiling more, looking residents and other associates in the eye every morning as you enter the senior living community, and offering a warm and authentic greeting? Do this every day for a month, and you'll be amazed at how much nicer and kinder everyone else seems to be toward you!

It's the Golden Rule in action. Instead of promising yourself that this year you will "reconnect with old friends and relatives with whom I've lost touch," why not call them during the first week of January before life gets too busy and you forget? Or at least message them via text or social media to say you want to stay in touch this year and you'd love to get together soon. You may be surprised to get a grateful call or message back and to find your relationships strengthened in 2023.

Making resolutions on New Year's Day may be a tradition, like watching college bowl games or singing "Auld Lang Syne." And there's certainly nothing wrong with making a list of the changes you want to make and the goals you hope to reach. But remember: Taking action and doing beats good intentions — every time.