Dealing with Criticism, Becoming Stronger

Recently, I read a provocative sentiment from an anonymous poet: "Accept both compliments and criticism. It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow."

I wish I could tell you that I am a strong woman who is able to shrug off criticism as easily as a lint roller cleans a jacket. But I cannot honestly say this is true. Like many, sometimes I say too much in response to criticism. Other times, I may say nothing at all. Let's be honest: it hurts to be criticized.

Invariably, I absorb the criticism and stew on it for days (sometimes weeks). When I finally think that I have squeezed every drop out of the critic's intentions, examined the matter from all angles, and wrung it out to dry, I will then – and only then – let it go. But it still hurts.

This past week, I was reminded of an old story I once read. It's the story of a farmer who was tired of his donkey, so the farmer fenced the donkey inside a trash pit. Each day the farmer would come around and diligently throw trash in the pit while completely ignoring his faithful donkey trapped inside.

As the trash would fall, the donkey at first felt helpless and completely hurt. How could his owner treat him this way? But each day as the trash fell, making mounds of debris beneath the donkey, he would stomp on the trash, trampling it beneath his hooves. Day after day, more and more trash was heaped upon the donkey, and each day he would do the same. Finally, the donkey had stomped on so much debris beneath him that he was able to climb on it, reach level ground, and run away to freedom.

Life is filled with criticism and compliments. Most people would rather experience the compliments, but criticism is what makes us stronger. Each day as the donkey stomped on the trash, he grew stronger muscles. It was his strength and determination, his ability to see beyond the trash, that gave him freedom.

As we grow, our ability to learn from constructive feedback and criticism will be the rain that causes us to grow. The question remains: Would you rather bask only in the sunlight of compliments and risk sunburn? Or would you rather receive both sun and rain in order to grow well?