Finding Joy in the Dumps

We live in a world where everything changes so fast. We tend to believe that good things come to people who are good — kind to others, friendly and genuine.

In Season 3, episode 1, of Ted Lasso, the show's featured soccer team (Richmond) finds itself ranked last in the preseason poll, #20 out of 20 teams. A mean-spirited fellow named Nate Shelley quips, "Richmond is ranked #20 because there is no #21."

Nate, the former towel boy turned "Wonder Kid," who was encouraged and mentored by Ted Lasso and the entire Richmond team, is now the manager of a rival team. In an interview, Nate spews toxicity at a team that is already down on its luck. He also criticizes Ted, who had formerly shown him all the kindness in the world.

In a later interview, Ted is asked to respond to Nate's cruel words. Ted diffuses the tense interview with self-effacing humor, making the reporters laugh and taking the attention away from Nate's criticism. In the end, popular opinion was galvanized favorably around Ted, while Nate was viewed as a boorish bully.

We can take many lessons from Ted's shrewd display of grace under pressure. We all have experienced great seasons in our lives, whether we're talking about work, sports, our families, or our involvement in social circles. But seasons change. At other times, we find ourselves struggling, and we can be an easy target for others to criticize or antagonize.

We hope that the kindness we have bestowed on others along the way will come full circle and be offered back to us. At times, it is. However, at other times, we fall victim to toxic words and cruel people — often when we're already down. When these attacks come from people we respect, the hurt multiplies and can feel like a bottomless crater.

We must remember that it is especially important during those seasons to stay focused on the things that really matter in life. If you are blessed to have a life's partner, family, children, or kind friends, hold them closer during your adversarial seasons. Focus on them. Watching those you love soar and land safely will bring you immense joy and fulfillment.

We must also find ways to fill our days and hearts with happiness — not just laughter, but true joy. It will soothe a mind filled with anxiety and hurt. Joy comes from within, and true joy stays with us, irrespective of our circumstances. You may not be guaranteed a job tomorrow, but joy gives you a reason to smile as the sun shines freshly on your face because you know in the end a "job" may disappear, but a career or dream may be born. Joy gives you permission to laugh at yourself. After all, you're human, so why take yourself so seriously?

Our world is filled with change, toxic people, and uncertainty, whether we like it or not. Life happens and often catches us unawares. What we can choose is how we will face the change, toxicity, and uncertainty. We can choose how to respond. As Ted Lasso wisely puts it, "Great things can happen when you're down in the dumps!"