Connecting Through Authentic Leadership

Connecting Through Authentic Leadership

During the month of February, we will be reading The Art of Connecting with Others, a new book in the Habitudes series. I really enjoyed the first chapter, called "Hosts and Guests." It speaks of how good leaders should see themselves as hosts and be very intentional about their relationships.

It brought back memories of my first year living in the United States. I was studying during the summer at Lee University, but the dormitory closed. I could not afford to go back to South Africa for the summer, so I went home with a family that provided a shared room for me.

Each morning, I would arise to make breakfast for the entire family, wash their dishes afterward, and then begin my job at a nearby fast-food establishment. In the evening, when I returned to their house, I would find a sink full of dirty dishes for me to wash, as well as a list of evening chores. I completed my chores and then tiredly walked to the cold twin bed situated on one side of a room I shared with their daughter.

Each day was the same. I was thankful when the summer ended, and I could return to college at Lee.

That same year, as I was studying with a microbiology classmate one week before Thanksgiving, I received an invitation from his parents to be their guest for Thanksgiving. I was nervous and did not know what to expect, but I accepted the invitation.

As we walked up their front sidewalk, the door flew open, and my friend's parents completely enveloped me with hugs. It had been over a year since I had received a hug, and I almost cried right in their beautiful foyer. A warm and inviting bedroom was waiting, just for me. As soon as I finished washing up, my friend's mother brought me English hot tea which is my favorite, and we enjoyed the tea together. Then, my hostess and I began baking and cooking to prepare for the Thanksgiving dinner.

That Thanksgiving was the first time in a long time that I felt like I was home. We watched football, and I ate a lot. I felt loved and as though I was part of something truly beautiful.

My encounter with these two sharply contrasting families reminds me of what new associates coming into our senior living communities may experience. Are our new associates greeted by their leaders at the door, and do we immediately make them feel at ease?

On an associate's first day in our communities, do we make sure they are eating? If they find themselves working long hours, do we check on them and offer to get them a meal from the kitchen or maybe offer their family a to-go pizza since Mom or Dad won't be home in time to make dinner?

Leaders don't wait for team members to visit them in their own office. Leaders who truly want to connect with people will seek them out. They will check in on their team members often and inspire them to believe in something greater than just their job. Great leaders inspire people to believe in family.

I will always be grateful for Tommy and Rhonda Nell, the warm and generous couple who hosted me that Thanksgiving. They showed me how to open my heart and my home to everyone. Their acts of kindness also remind me that authentic leadership creates connection and belonging through daily action.